Not the news we were waiting for...

Ted likes to be "prepared" for trouble -- meaning, not have it take him by suprise. It's the funniest when we're watching a movie, and he wants to identify the "sacrificial lamb" right away, so he's not too disappointed when his favorite character gets shot up by unethical gangsters halfway through. In our personal life, this means expecting the worst all the time, and then being pleasantly suprised when anything good happens. And lately, this has been a good policy, as we've suffered a number of significant work-related disappointments. However, it's still really, really disappointing.

From the very beginning of this process to adopt Anastasia, we have been very cautious with our emotions. We've tried really hard to say "if" instead of "when" while still faithfully planning for her and doing what needed to be done to make it happen. I think it was about March 26 though, when we hosted KluckStock and were so blown away by the support of our friends and family, and recieved such a significant portion of our financial needs, that we started to let our guard down. For one thing, the things to be done for the adoption were beginning to ratchet up -- I've been spending about half of my week on fundraising and adoption-related tasks. One of the big emotional barriers we had put up was that there were going to be no physical, tangible evidences of a girl coming to live here. Several people have offered me girl clothes (one of the things I've most anticipated) and I've always said -- not yet. But yesterday morning, I was down in the basement sorting through stuff for the garage sale, including some stuff my sister had given me that my nieces had outgrown. And there were a few little dresses that came out of the garage sale pile, that I took upstairs and showed Ted, and said this we'll save for our daughter! I joyfully hung those dresses in the closet of our extra bedroom, to wait for her. The guards are down, we're all in.

It wasn't more than an hour later that my social worker called, with the very bad news. A Ukrainian family has seen Anastasia (this was not legal) and has visited her (also not legal) and has filed for adoption of her (not. legal. according to what we had been PROMISED by our agency.) The director of the orphanage where she lives told this family that she is spoken for, but they did not care, and have gone forward with trying to adopt her. Now, if it's not legal, you might ask, how can they do it? This is Ukraine, where money and influence talk (and they clearly have both, or they wouldn't have gotten this far), not America, where people who take bribes get in trouble. We should have known this could happen, but we were too busy trusting our agency, believing in a flimsy "legal document" that we signed a year ago, and waiting to make our move (at our agency's instruction.) Our agency's initial response was, we're sorry, there's nothing we can do.

The distressing thing in all of this is that we have absolutely no recourse, except through our agency. And while they are sympathetic, and willing to "ask questions," time is passing, and this other family is DOING something -- they are adopting our child! And we are waiting, waiting, waiting, totally unsure of what will happen. If we do nothing, for sure she is gone. If we move heaven and earth (not even sure how we would do that) she might be gone anyway. Unless God intervenes, it looks very very bleak.

So would you join us in praying for justice? That our agency would ACT on our behalf (we have already paid them a lot of money to be our advocates.) That we would hear back from Dr. D, the head of the agency on the Ukraine side (who is mysteriously "hard to reach" right now) who is the only one who can do anything. That we would be able to trust God in all of this, and carry on with our lives while we wait. That somehow, in this, we will be able to praise Him and see His Name honored.

And then practically -- about this horrible sale. I'm going to go forward with it, mainly because it's already in motion. If the bottom falls out, and we can't complete this adoption (I refuse to accept this yet -- I am prepared to fight this with everything in me) then I guess we'll talk about what happens to the money we raised at that time. It kinda takes the wind right out of our sails, and if you no longer want to donate your stuff, I understand. I am just trying, against all reason, to maintain a little hope as long as there is a chance.